I’m not much of a “Hugger” anyways, and less so with people, I’m not really, really close with. So a few weeks ago, a co-worker tried to give me a hug over some moment of great excitement for him, I don’t remember what. But I put out my arm to reject it. He then asked, ” What are you, homophobic.” Which I took some offense to and responded, “Dude I didn’t even know you were gay” my humor didn’t go over so well. I don’t think he is gay, I was just playing a little word game. Pointing out that for someone to have a “fear of homos” aka homophobia… and this led to a whole conversation around the office. Yes, I have a knack for stirring the pot, and we have to much time on our hands around here.
ANYWAYS…. The conversation got around to how in that case if the man stands up for himself to protect their perceived personal space the name calling begins. Yet we encourage women to do just that. Sadly they get the name calling as well but I think that’s more of a defense mechanism from being rejected. It leaves one feeling like their intentions were misread.
The news is full of reports from people who years later say this person was inappropriate with me. So yes, it would be so much better for more people to put that arm out, or let the other person know their feelings. It can be done politely. Maybe if Lucy Flores, had said something to Joe Biden 4 years ago instead of announcing it to the press now? I mean this Creepy Uncle Joe thing has been going around for over 10 years now. However, this is where communication can be helpful to all. Why in the hell has someone not pulled Joe aside and say something? I get that he wasn’t intending to be a perve, and that perfectly innocent actions can look negative depending on the prism you view it through. Just watch your local church after services with everybody hugging, and think about it.
The point here is that you can’t be advocating for people to stand up for themselves. You can’t tell them that their feelings are more important than others, that the intent of the person who offended them is not more important. While at the same time playing identity politics, and name calling when they do stand up for themselves!